Dear Facebook

Dear Facebook,

I really hate you. We’ve had a rough relationship this past year. While all of my friends have been posting these happy “Throwback Thursday” and “1 Year Ago Today” posts, I’ve been watching you. I’ve been seeing the things you’ve flaunted in front of me. Three years ago, I was healthy and happy. I was in the best shape of my whole life. I had everything going for me: a great husband, a wonderful little boy, a successful job, a fun fitness program, and a great blog. I was conquering the world. I did everything I wanted to do and then some.

But then I got sick. Not just a little bit sick, but the kind of sick that drains every ounce of energy from your body sort of sickness. Within a two year period I have been misdiagnosed for several months and given a treatment I did not need. It was given to me incorrectly by the hospital staff who admitted they had never administered one before which then caused me to be rushed to the emergency room two days later for severe side effects. I have been hospitalized and had so many tests run to try to figure out exactly what is going on with my body and I have fought to come to terms with my diagnosis. Once you are diagnosed, it just simply does not end there. You have to manage it.

I live with chronic neurological migraines. And I struggle with multiple types and multiple triggers. I was diagnosed finally in November of last year and I feel like I didn’t begin controlling them until this past month. I have seen more specialists than I can count and I have unusual symptoms that made the diagnosis very difficult. I don’t always get a headache, but I have just about every other symptom that comes with migraines. One of my triggers is so strange I cannot even find anyone else like me on the internet… I have a migraine when I eat rice. I absolutely love rice too. It is my comfort food. Do you know how many healthy eating plans include brown rice? That makes it super tricky too.

I normally hate Facebook rubbing it in that I am no longer the carefree person I once was before migraines wrecked my entire life. I don’t exactly know why I got sick almost two years ago, but I know that some days my skin and muscles hurt so bad that every step I take makes me want to drop to my knees. There are some days I don’t want to talk to anyone because I cannot keep food down and it takes all of my energy to drag myself to work and look normal. Some days I want to give up. Luckily I have people that pick me up and just carry me through. There are nights my husband paces with me in the bedroom until relief finally finds me. Facebook, I really hate you for reminding me of the life I lost. Some days you make me cry.

But today is not that day. I think I kinda like you a little bit today. You showed me a year ago today and I was heavier, more tired, and the circles under my eyes were darker. You reminded me that this time last year I was misdiagnosed. I had a broken body and no answers. I am not broken today. I’m just slightly messed up and figuring it all out now. Today I posted the picture on the right. This sweet little boy and I have battled this sickness together and we have come out okay. There have been days we couldn’t play like we wanted. There have been days he sits beside me and watches TV while I sleep. Or hugged me when I feel my worst. But we made it work, we survived it and came out on top. We’re figuring it out and it took Facebook flashing back to remind me how far I’ve actually come.

There are going to be more tough days, but the good days have been more lately. I am so grateful for that. I am finally getting somewhere with all of this and my body is showing it. There are still days that knock me flat on my behind, but I can stand it. Because of the better days. In all reality I still have the great husband, wonderful little boy, fabulous job, amazing fitness program, and now a new blog. I’m really the only thing that changed. I’m still debating over whether or not it’s for the better some days. I’m stronger now. I appreciate the good days so much more. I enjoy the little things and find the joy in everything I can do. I’m just a different me and I don’t know what to do with that just yet. Maybe that’s why I find myself here.

Maybe I do like Facebook just a tad bit today.

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4 thoughts on “Dear Facebook

  1. Jessica says:

    Poor Wendy. I stayed away because I had so many things happening to me negatively that I wanted to keep them from you. But, all along you have known pain that I go through. Wendy, you are awesome and seeing you up there zumba dancing is living. I’m sitting over here wishing I could move. When I got home from zumba Monday night I walked like an old decrepit lady for 2 days and cried why can’t I do these things anymore. It’s not fair. But, this comes from a fellow doer. Just like you, must do and make progress and when it’s not on our own time we get depressed and upset. It will be ok. Rice gives me migranes too. I just know before I absolutely have to eat it to take a relpax an hour before.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecountrydivablog says:

      It’s reassuring to have someone who “gets it” too! Please don’t give up, even if it means showing up and just being with us. It’s not about the workout sometimes. It’s about the group of ladies you met. I hope you’ll trust me on this and give it a chance. Do what you can, remember we all start somewhere and we have to build from there. We will be here with you every step of the way.

      Like

  2. Brooke Espinoza says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your chronic migraines. I struggled with migraines for 22 years and finally am now both headache and migraine free! March 2016 was my last migraine. I went to Amazon.com checking to see if there were any helpful books on how to prevent migraines and put a end to my daily rebound headaches. I saw “Heal Your Headache” by David Buchholz was the #1 Amazon bestseller on headaches, which intrigued me, but I was still skeptical that it would make any difference because we both know migraines are not your average headache. Anyway, I though it was worth a try. I was amazed that it totally worked, and the results were just as the book claimed. The author uses a three step plan, and just by doing the first two steps I found within 3 days i was headache and migraine free. Since I’ve stuck with his 1-2-3 plan, i feel amazing! I no longer have to pop pain reliever meds several times a week, or carry my medicine with me wherever I go. As long as I follow the 1-2-3 plan, headaches and migraines are no longer an issue. The gift of being pain free is well worth avoiding that which would trigger a migraine. Now I know my triggers and how to recognize when a migraine could be triggered so I can avoid it. The great thing is once all the triggers eventually flushed out of my system, I have been able to reintroduce small amounts of favorite foods containing potential triggers, and see if the food is really a trigger. Even my trigger foods I can eat in small quantities, but make sure I’m not eating a bunch of small portions of my favorite triggers all in the same 1-3 days. Since rice gives you migraines, I wonder if there is a similar grain that possibly has the same texture that could give you the great taste of rice without triggering a migraine. I’ve found simple tweaks to what I put in my body has made all the difference in preventing headaches and migraines. The simple plan laid out in ” Heal Your Headache” has been absolutely life changing for me. I soooo highly recommend “Heal Your Headache.” It changed my life in amazing ways and I pray it changes your life, too. God bless you abundantly! https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Headache-David-Buchholz/dp/0761125663?ie=UTF8&qid=1468894534&ref_=la_B001IQXKU2_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1

    Like

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